bruises and bumps…

Apparently the frigid temperatures that have yet again started blowing outside, have made their way in. The floors must be frozen- because Baby Bunny is sliding around like a deer on the ice- sans skates. While it can be quite amusing, when she is padded in her winter coat and cushioned diaper, it is quite terrifying at other times.

Baby Bunny is asserting her independence in more ways and as she does, I am starting to become accustomed to her attempts at discovery. I know that she likes to walk with one foot on the threshold and the other on the floor, while carefully balancing a toy in one hand. She tried to ‘chest bump’ against the crib, sometimes so forcefully I am afraid she’ll knock the wind right out of herself. She stops mid-way on the stairs to change directions and tries to descend (something we haven’t quite mastered). At times I feel so ‘on top’ of her adventures that I think nothing could surprise me and ‘Super Mom’ will react before anything happens because, “I know her better than anyone”.

Sigh.

6:45 am: I hear Baby Bunny playing in her crib, starting to fuss, so I go into her room and rock her for a bit. She will have no part in this relaxing start to the day, so we grab a few toys and go back into our room. Baby Bunny thinks our bed is the best place ever: pillows, fluffy comforter… all the goods for space launches and good books. So as we are both in bed, I do not think much about her flopping around on the pillow, crawling around, and eventually winding up about two feet from the edge of the bed. I had that conscious moment where I thought, ‘She could fall off’ but my ‘Super Mom- I know her better than anyone’ inflated ego told me that she wouldn’t try to go closer to the edge and I could grab her in time.

Literally while I was finishing that conversation in my head, marveling at how big she has grown, i see her flop on her back on to the pillows but with a much larger force than I’ve ever seen, and her head (being like a large, unstoppable melon in motion) catapulted her straight off the bed.

THUD. Right. onto. the. hardwood.

Head first.

My heart panicked, I yelled for Husband- luckily still home, and immediately tried assessing the damage. Limbs attached, check. Blood, negative. Full range of motion, check. Visible bump or bruise, not yet. Eyes tracking and is she listening to me, kind of in the middle of her panic.

Fast forward: monitoring from Doctor and the ‘all clear’ from a trusted Mommy and skilled Nurse- we are both breathing a little easier. But with one interesting protrusion on the noggin (she must have landed onto of my gripper socks and the cable cord).  She is fine.

But where do I go from here as a Mom. As the (feeling) guilty party. Do I always bubble wrap, helmet protect, and baby proof everything with in her grasp? Do I become her shadow and new best friend checking out everything before it can approach her? I could certainly give the term heliocopter mom a new depth. But what kind of life is that? Bruises and bumps have to be apart of her life experience so that she learns. I don’t think I will put her on a bed again any time soon (or couch, ottoman.. anything higher than an inch for that matter) but I would hope she hesitates now before being near the edge. I hope that my pain through her fall prevents me from putting her in situations that I feel too confident in. I want her to learn, she sometimes will need to feel pain, but I want to keep that risk small.

I love seeing my baby grow. But I hate the hurt that comes with learning.

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